:::: when Death has taken its toll ::::

Before writing this, I had been thinking hard… whether to put this very little-discussed topic at the end of my entire blog or should I write it now… To be honest with you and even to myself, Death is not a fun topic to be discussed, no matter how hardcore-gothic you might be… so why on Earth would I discuss it now? Well, as easy for you to ask the question, as easy it is for me to answer… Death is not one thing to talk about much as it has much of a sensitive and taboo nature, either it is to take care of the feelings of the family of the departed or to respect the dead… because what’s past is past, you need to move on and look straight forward, right? Well I think that statement is for chickens (pussies if you’d prefer…). This is because Death is something not to be taken for granted as everyone goes through it… No, I’m not asking you to ignore the future or something, but we could learn a few things or so from Death itself… such as there is no such thing as immortality in human life as only God, His angels, and His demons are immortal… even the genies, ghosts, and all the supernatural stuffs may die, even if they are already dead… nothing lasts forever and we need to learn from Death, and make it a lesson for us to remember; so the same thing wouldn’t happen to us. I’m not saying that we can dodge Death because I already clearly stated that immortality is a myth. What I meant is we could have precautions of not having the same way Death took all of our loved ones… you must always make sure you’re completely ready everyday, every second and everywhere so you wouldn’t regret leaving this world when the time comes (you can’t predict Death, unless you’re holding the Book of Death or the Death Note for the Jap-horror fans)… that’s why all religions prohibit suicide, as you are still not ready physically, mentally or spiritually…
What brought me to even think of this grimly topic is the death of my beloved uncle from my father’s side… I did not know much about him and I’m not that close to him, but I can see my father’s pain, the agony of a soul that are very close to his own flesh and blood… and I felt his pain too. We certainly wouldn’t know the experience of being dead or being close to death (unless you were reborn or you had gone through a miracle; that is if you even remember). To leave this world, knowing that you’re not ready yet and knowing that you haven’t really done much for the world would make the ‘leaving’ process much, much harder… “To die would be an awfully great adventure” Pan (Peter Pan) once said with his neck at the end of Hook’s sword… that’s a statement of an animated Disney character when he's gonna die, but if that happens to you, will you say the same?

:::: perfect isn't always the best ::::

Everyone wants and dreams of a perfect life (don’t lie, you are one of them). And different personas have different definitions of a so called ’perfect’ life. As we worked hard and swam through fiery oceans we might thought, hey, maybe there are some people who don’t need to do a thing to get a perfect life… that would certainly be easy, wouldn’t it? Well, there are a few things that they (the perfect life peepooles) have or had done to get the perfect life… one: they went for a jackpot and won multibillions of zillions… two: they share the same genetic code to a famous rockstar, or maybe an old dying crinkly guy, but still wants to be with naked girls, especially in his magazine… eherm… with uncountable zeros in their accounts… or three: they’re just damn f***ing lucky to have everything and everyone under their furry asses (how could that be?)… Well, those are for the perfect people who have the wealth god (chai sen, in Chinese) on their side… what if they’re perfect in sense of beauty? Urgh, this hurts for me as I am not one of them and I wished I was… lets guess… one: they have a genetic code of Aphrodite and Achilles combined together with their parent’s XY chromosomal code who already are a feast for the eyes (it means beautiful… stop referring to a dictionary, please!)… two: they used a part of their perfect life named wealth to make them beautiful in a few hours and a few shots on their face and maybe three: their budding hormones changed them from beauty to the beast! Oops, that went wrong… from a beast to beauty! Whatever part of perfect life it is, refer to my post title, perfect isn’t always the best. Yeah, wealth can bring you anything in this world, but you can’t buy love… you can buy people to love you (as an act) but you will always know they’re loving you for your kaching, not yourself… beauty can make everyone fall for you, but it’s only temporary… be it natural beauty or LYDDI (Let Your Doctor Do It) beauty or maybe DIY (Do It Yourself) beauty (is there such thing?), it’s temporary and forever will, because if your’s not, you are an alien from planet somewhere or a mannequin that stands in front of a boutique waiting for new arrival dresses to be put up on you by some high sex drive cashier, and you will be forever smiling and bald (until you wear a wig or a hair is carved on your head)… try asking the perfect life-goers… what I have said, it’s true and if they said its not, trust me, you’ve either asked a wrong guy or gal (cough: not perfect) or they’re bluffin’ your buttered buttocks out…

:::: the reasons for the reasons ::::

It might be weird to name your blog Reasons to Continue Living, right? It sounds as if you're gonna kill yourself but you had come across these reasons and at last you didn't commit the 'score:10over10' sin (refer to my first post, dummy if you cant relate the 'score:10over10' sin to what u had just read...sigh...) i myself noticed how weird and absurd it is to have my blog, my first blog named in such way. It is grim and dull; plus it sounds like this blog is meant for the ones who survived suicide or a blog targeted for the mentally-ill people who are thinking of committing suicide... well, it actually is... in fact i am one of them, the mentally and emotionally-ill people who had thoughts of going the easy way (not the ones that survived one...gulp) and it seems i recovered from that sense (thank goodness!) and realised that these reasons are not just made-up, it's true and factual and logical... the fact is, there are more positives in life than the negatives and all you need to do is savour it and live... yes, it might come a bit later and a bit less than everyone else's positive reasons, but you need to believe, that there is a shining part of yourself, just waiting to be polished, that there are people out there that accepts you for who you are and don't worry, that perfect and happy life you have been wanting to have, is just a few moments away from you and with a few miles of living your life like you should, you shall achieve it and hands down, no one shall interfere with that perfect life you've been drooling for... as everything happens, whether good or bad, you should believe that everything happens for a reason... for God believers of any religion, you know this as He had decided what's to come for us in the future (or so called 'fate') and believe me, karma does happen. Every sin we do shall be paid with bad consequences and the deeds done shall be rewarded with good things. So you better watch what stone you are going to step on, or face the consequences, you either sink or continue standing to step on another stone. Take life as a maze, a very, very, long and confusing maze waiting for you to go through it till the end. All you need to do is make sure you choose the right path so you won't get lost. How you may ask? that's outside my league fellas, as this is about your life, not mine... other people could and should not drive your ship of life (yes, you can make it a car, airplane, donkey or whatever you want it to be, as long you get the idea) because if they do, you're done for it man... as he or she controls your life towards extinction, they are going to turn your life upside down and if you have people controlling your life right now, and you are still dreaming of a perfect life, you will never achieve it even if you are already in your dark loamy grave, rotting. If that's your idea of a perfect life, (FYI, i paused like for an hour before i have the guts to write this...) i can't say anything else but its easier if you die because that's the easiest way to achieve that perfect life of yours. By the way, what I meant by people controlling your life is someone else than your own blood and only applicable for already-independent peeps… I don’t want any parent to come to me and said that I asked their children to go against them, sheesh, that would be bad…

:::: the ending IS the beginning ::::

Ok, now you're dead, and in Hell (the application forms are open only for sinners not deed-ers, well you know the concept)... and you're facing your own sins and faults that you did in the world that you have been given a chance to do deeds (but you didn't)... if you're a Muslim, you will go on and be punished for your sins until you die, and revived again and again to be tortured again, but at last you'll be placed in Heaven... that is until ALL your debts (by means sins) had been paid... if you are a Buddhist, according to my knowledge... (who is not so religious but am trying to be one...) their afterlife is the life brought up back to the world, as someone or something else... be it a human or an animal, you will be brought back into something that's not you, but it's you... (i'm f***ing clueless!) <

> so the similarities are... ((drumroll))... as our life ends, it actually had just begun... just as the statement i wrote just now, the Muslims will begin to know how painful it is to pay for your sins (believe me, paying for your debts are already a pain in the arse...) to reach sin-free level, then move on to the forever happily ever after life in one of the seven Heavens (clearly, only about the 6th and 7th Heaven are for the sinners who had cleared their sins, i mean of course, if you are a heavy sinner, you would be taking such a long time to reach sin-free level... by that time, the first five Heavens would be occupied... by the way, that's only what i thought and assumed in terms of logic... not the truth, because if i do know, i would be God... and i am not Him, so don't ever get me wrong...). Another example that shows the beginning happens as the ending does is like school... first we went to kindergarten, ok that's over, then we need to go to junior highschool or aka primary school, as we thought that's over a new schooling era happens... the highschool aka secondary school and then maybe you'll go to college or university... and after all the suffering and tireness, we hoped and dreamed that at last, it's all over... face the fact people, it had just begun... the young schooling life ends for the adult career life to begin... and again, as that life ends you'll move on to the senior ageing life while waiting for the grim reaper to come for you with his wanted list... that is, if you did not meet him during the process of the past two lives... (note: life here on Earth is not like life in The Sims 2 game where your loved ones can plead the grim reaper to erase your name from his list)…

:::: the spiritual beliefs of the beginning ::::

"How am i supposed to live in this world?" i frequently asked myself... is there really an easy way to a live as beautiful, as perfect and as easy as everyone had dreamed of? Luxury, fame, intelligence, respect, power, love... all the qualities that makes up a perfect life... as most of the organisms in this small world might agree, that's just a lie, a faulty statement that some fugly mentally psychotic dude would say... there is no shortcuts in this world to live in a perfect life, but there are obstacles that all of us (mind you, mind me...) will have to face, if not yesterday or the past; now, or maybe tomorrow, or the day after and after and after until you are buried into the dirty soil where we came from (that's a statement in Islamic beliefs; where we all are made from soil... dirty and worthless and function-less until we are brought up to this world to serve him, Allah the Almighty...) Well, if you are a Scientologist, or an Atheist or maybe a Free Thinker...... you might not think so... yes, not all of us now are made from soil as all the educated person (and do mind the not-so-educated ones...) know that we are made from the little tadpoles swimming through a canal to find a buried ball to play with and after 9 months playing with it, it grows and become you, from a baby to now... where you are able to read English fluently and without referring to a dictionary (if you are, drop it now, loser!). The reason that it is said so is because it's only a metaphor, to make the Muslims know that they are brought up from nothing to something to show how much powerful He is; so we would not disrespect Him... the truth? According to the Al-Quran (the Islamic book of order), only Adam is made from soil and Eve is made of one of his right ribs... then the whole tadpole playing ball happens and tadah… All the men and women in this world exist...

To live in this world would be a difficult process... not to be negative, but it's true... sometimes it felt so hard you'd rather kill yourself and end this right at that time... sounds easy huh? Guess what? Its not, and never will... and i'm not trying to be religious, but in all and i mean all religions... killing yourself is an unforgivable sin, a big 10over10 score for sins and what the Hell does that means? It means HELL!!! (like duh...) The fiery oven brilliantly large to bake every gingerbread man cookie (that's you, sinners!) into burnt bitter cookie crumbs or easily said, ashes (echoes:ashes,ashes,ashes....) Hellaluiah...